Not sure whether it’s the days being so damn short, or my schedule being so damn full, but December has been a complete blur – much more than normal. Birthday, come and gone. Christmas, said and done. New Year, no thanks!
Becoming more deeply aware of the blur this holiday season, however, has really been the best gift this girl could’ve received – for a couple different reasons.
First, I’m just not good at tangible presents. Ray bought me a conga drum for my birthday and I (kinda sorta) yelled. Pacts were also made with my Mom & Pops, and Nana, that none of us would make purchases for the other because … clothes usually don’t fit comfy or they aren’t soft enough, we all have everything we need, we really need to take a stand against consumerism and for sustainability.
Second, being inside the blur is not new to me … in fact, it’s a place I have tended to frequent for quite some time without making an effort to understand what for, or what it’s taking from me. Kinda like some friend you still hang out with, but don’t really see eye-to-eye. Kinda like the corner dive bar where you stop for a beer, just because it’s nearby.
This time around, the pattern of knowing > feeling > acceptance shifted to knowing > feeling > what-the-hell-sense-does-this-make!?
Whoa. No, but really….
No. Wait, what? NO. It’s kinda easy…
I am allowed to say NO!? Am I allowed to say NO? I am! Because I say so! It’s that simple! And it’s fine! It’s really better than fine! It’s fantastic …
I allow myself – in other words, give myself permission – to say NO because my time is my time, and I only have a finite amount of it to spend with the people I love and do the things I enjoy.
You can allow yourself, too. You can take a load off. You will likely feel lighter, looser and maybe even liberated.
If you’re thinking you don’t know how to say NO, stop thinking! Note that this process doesn’t take any “figuring out.” In fact, it takes moving from doing to non-doing, from trying to not trying. It requires only stillness. Inside the stillness, you can listen … and hear what your heart is telling you … and get clear on what you need for you.
No matter how many times I’ve discussed the concept of clarity during a yoga class, it’s never seemed so straightforward. Being still is the only way to really listen, listening is the only way to really honor self, honoring self is the only way to really discover balance. Only when we discover real balance can we stand in real possibility.
Like most lessons in life, I seem to learn them once and have to re-learn them again at some later date. Hope this one sticks … or at least with practice, that recognition comes with more grace and ease.
Let’s just commit to continue investigating the old stories we tell ourselves, find out which repeat roles we find ourselves playing, and choose something new … in the name of possibility.
The boldest thinkers, I know, will argue we must say YES to life to invite in possibility. But for me, saying NO had to come first!
I am grateful for your reading. Please share with someone you know who needs permission to say NO!